Staring Down the Ego: What a Sprained Ankle Taught Me About Fear and Purpose

I missed two steps as I was walking down to the lower level of our rental.

Boom.

I fell to the floor and instantly burst out a few choice and highly inappropriate words. My boys ran downstairs and quickly lifted me up, but the moment I tried to walk, the pain was sharp and unavoidable.

I had sprained my ankle.

My immediate reaction wasn't just physical pain; it was a wave of frustration. I was scheduled to host a local sound bath in just two days. It had been almost two months since I last hosted a sound experience for my community due to our cross-country travels and move, and I knew that if I canceled, I might not have a chance to host another one for a while.

For the next 24 hours, I found myself in a constant conversation with the demon and the angel on my shoulders—who I’ve come to understand as my ego and my authentic self.

Of course, my ego was feeding the self-pity loop: “I’m in too much pain. I need to rest. I can’t host a sound bath right now!” It wanted comfort, safety, and the status quo.

Then the angel chimed in: “I’m sure you can find a way to solve this problem. People need the relaxation, and you love doing this. Come on, we can find a way!”

As I went back and forth between these two internal voices, I took a step back to look at the bigger picture. As a family, we had tenaciously worked through an immense amount of change over the past year. We honored an internal tug to pursue our next chapter and put our house on the market. We left the place we had called our personal sanctuary for a decade. None of that was for the faint of heart.

So why was I suddenly tempted to give up on hosting an event I loved just because of a sprained ankle?

And then it hit me: I had spent the entire past year pushing past my barriers. I had stared my ego dead in the eyes and said, “Bring on the fear, I will move forward anyways!”

You see, sometimes fear is simply a way for our ego to fight for its survival. There is a very real part of us that needs our ego to protect us from danger, but there is also a part of us that gets way too comfortable with the status quo. That is the exact moment when change becomes scary. The ego uses physical roadblocks or mental fatigue as an excuse to retreat into what is familiar.

I chose to listen to the angel. I moved forward with hosting the sound experience, adapting my setup so I could support my body while serving others.

The feedback I received that day completely moved me. One participant shared, “I don’t know exactly how to explain it, but I almost felt like I had a beautiful blanket of sound covering me!” Another said, “That was the most incredibly peaceful experience!”

After the session wrapped up, I sat in stillness and asked myself: What was I really afraid of?

Was I afraid that it would hurt? It was already hurting while I sat on the couch! It seems silly now when I think back on it, but the fear felt intensely real in the moment.

When you are standing at the edge of stepping into your purpose or navigating a major life transition, your ego will use every minor setback to convince you to turn back. Recognize the voice for what it is—a bid for comfort—and choose your authentic vision instead.