The Sequential Life & Time Trap: Are You "Too Young" or "Too Old"?
Over the past few weeks, we've been deep in the Echo Chamber Effect, uncovering how inherited beliefs about relationships and work ethic can create internal divisions.
This week, we're confronting a final belief trap: the one that tells us our lives must unfold in a specific sequence, and that our dreams are bound by the clock.
The Sequential Life & Time Trap: Are You "Too Young" or "Too Old"?
Another widespread belief trap is the idea that time and sequence are rigid barriers to your success and fulfillment. This often manifests in prescriptive life paths that dictate what you "should" do and when.
We're often told kids are "too young" to manage responsibility, follow routines, or discipline themselves for goals. Yet, many children, including my own, step up when truly given the capability and opportunity. My boys learned to get themselves ready and make their own meals from a young age, not because they were special, but because they needed to. We consistently told them they were capable, and they rose to the occasion.
Conversely, we're told we're "too old" to get a new job, pursue a dream, or change paths. A dear person in my life dreamed of being a marine biologist. Life happened, they married, had kids, and got older. Sequentially, the dream felt impossible. But then we asked, "What if you volunteered for a few weeks a year now, and then after the kids are grown, you can move closer to the ocean, with contacts already built?" The whole idea of "too late" vanished.
This belief that success is bound by a strict life sequence (finish school, go to college, get the big job, marry, have kids, retire) creates immense pressure. If you don't follow it – whether having kids young, choosing not to have kids, or launching a career at 50 – we're conditioned to internalize failure. But if you are still breathing, you can do something right now. Why does the sequence truly matter?
My Own Experience with the "Too Young" Trap
I started working in the Insurance Technology space when I was barely in my 20's. I was ambitious and the idea of professional boundaries or etiquette hadn't even crossed my mind—sometimes it still doesn't, but that’s just the rebel in me! One thing that became very clear as I was building my career was that I was being judged for my age. Even though I was hardworking, willing to roll up my sleeves, and jump in to learn, I was often criticized for not having enough "real-world" experience. Comments made in passing, like getting the job because I was a “nanny” for the executive suite, were hard to hear. I quickly realized people needed to perceive me as having put in the same amount of "time" they did to obtain their responsibilities. Here I was, stuck in my very own "Too Young" trap.
So what did I do? In some ways, I conformed. I tried changing my clothes, I tried to be more subdued, I tried to be something I wasn't. I would study how my peers spoke and tried to change my language. But all of this resulted in me feeling exhausted, anxious, and depressed because I was literally out of alignment with who I was at my core. I bought into the age trap, hoping to convince others that I was worthy. As you can see, this strategy didn't work in the least; in fact, it prolonged my success immensely. It wasn't until I started tapping into my values, what I really enjoyed about my day-to-day, and fueling my desire to grow that I started seeing my fulfillment in my work increase. This gave me the confidence I needed to be my quirky, young-spirited, and jovial self again. To my surprise, the teams I worked on really appreciated this, and it gave them permission to be who they truly were.
The Impact of Unexamined Sequential Beliefs
Consider the powerful trap of going directly from school into college without first exploring who you truly are, understanding what you value, and how that might authentically translate into a career. This can result in the accrual of enormous debt in the wrong field. Even worse, it can put you in a position where you feel trapped in a certain career or lifestyle, perhaps one that generated significant income but fundamentally didn't align with your deepest values. This unexamined path leaves you feeling shackled by financial heaviness and a job you once thought you wanted, but now find miserable. So many ways we could think outside the box, but these external, sequential beliefs become our heaviest traps. They create financial burdens and leave many feeling stuck in jobs they thought they wanted at 20, but which no longer serve their deeper purpose.
Reflection & Action: Unpacking Your Own Echoes
The Echo Chamber Effect means constantly questioning: Is this truly mine? Or is it an echo I've inherited? Your revolution starts by unmasking these ingrained beliefs. It’s about creating space to discern your own answers, to define your own values, and to design a life that resonates with your unique truth.
To help you begin this vital work, take some time this week to reflect on these questions. You can journal your answers, or simply sit with them:
Inherited Beliefs: Name one core belief you hold about success, relationships, or your identity. Now, trace its echo back to its source: Was it a parent, a teacher, a religious leader, or a community? Does this belief feel like a truth you chose, or a script you inherited?
The Busyness/Work Ethic Trap: Where in your life do you feel compelled to be "busy" or to "work harder," even when it costs you peace or joy? What specific "shoulds" drive this feeling?
The Sequential Trap: What dream have you put on the shelf because you believed your life wasn't on the 'right' timeline? What would be possible if you broke that rule and began living it now?
Your Authentic Values: Before society, family, or conditioning ever had a say, what did your authentic self want? If you could start your value list from a blank page, what would you write?
Ready to uncover the beliefs that truly belong to you?
Next week, we'll continue our journey into "The Cost of Conforming: What Are You Sacrificing for Acceptance?" – learning the emotional, mental, and even physical costs of suppressing one's true self to fit in.